Understanding Rabbinic Notions of Love in Tamudic lore.

We are not always in harmony with ourselves. Rabbi Nachman of Breslav would often speak of himself as a microcosm of the universe and its accompanied cosmic eruptions. It was a way of contextualizing his profound unease both with himself and the world around him. He was tormented from without and within.

Paul Simon in perhaps his finest album "Graceland" echoes this sentiment, "There's a girl in New York City who calls herself the human trampoline and sometimes when I'm fallin' flyin' and tumblin' into turmoil, I say whoa, so this is what she means..."

There is no greater culprit than love for the emotional chaos that Simon describes. As for Rav Nahman, the same rings true, but the object of his desire would be the Holy One.

Pirkei Avot, The Values our Fathers, is a potpourri of pithy aphorisms from early Sages that teaches what should truly be important. Love does not get a tremendous amount of attention in this relatively short work, but it does get some--

Any love that is conditional the love will cease when the condition upon which it depended ceases. Love that is unconditional will never cease. What would be considered a love that is conditional? The love of Amnon and Tamar. What is an example of unconditional love? David and Jonathan. Pirkei Avot 5:16

It is interesting to note that Amnon's desire for his half-sister is considered a conditional love. The condition is his desire for her, and once that longing has been fulfilled by his rape, he not only ceases to love her but despises her.

The presumption of the rabbis--post-modern literary critics notwithstanding--is to see the love between David and Jonathan as pure, with no ulterior, or erotic overtones. Does this mean that all love that has an erotic component is by definition a love that is conditional and therefore, not enduring?

It's funny that when people speak of Platonic relationships they mean to say it is not serious whereas the definition of a Platonic relationship is "purely spiritual love", a love that is on a higher plane than erotic love. What one should say, when asked if a relationship is serious, is "No it's just a sexual relationship."

If it truly is serious, then the sex would be incidental--if at all, because the relationship would be like David and Jonathan where not only was the sex not the goal, but it was not even a factor in a relationship that was considered spiritual and pure.

David and Jonathan is one of the only friendships described in the entire Bible. The Rabbis take their relationship at face value, and view it as a truly Platonic one, totally apart from the realm of physical attraction.

Except they would never call it a Platonic relationship, but they may have labelled it a Rabbinic one.

According to this understanding of love, it is the conditions that get us into trouble. Once the love is conditional it is in constant jeopardy. "What if the condition isn't met?" The irony is that as long as the condition is not met, the desire is constant, painful and full of anxiety, but constant.

As soon as the desire is met, it is replaced with either emptiness, or contempt. This is what Paul Simon describes in the song quoted above: "losing love is like a window in your heart. Everyone sees that you're blown apart."

The pure spiritual love only ends when life ends and then it is sad for the surviving friend. The Rabbis are idealizing their relationships with their learning partners in this Mishnah, when they say, "All we want from each other is the best understanding we have of the book in front of us. It does not matter who is better, or smarter or stronger, all that matters is that I am there to help you. It never occurs to them that they are to be helped in turn.

Husbands and wives often describe each other as "best friends", as if that might be unusual. But, in fact, it may be the true definition of enduring love, a friendship beyond the kids, beyond the sex and, of course, beyond the self.

A Memorable Quote from a Master of my Youth

"The older I get, the surer I am that I’m not running the show.”
--Leonard Cohen

Reverend Al Preaches to the Horizontally challenged!

Jeff Goldberg gets a diet tip from an avuncular Al Sharpton!

"What's your diet secret?" I asked him. After all, stripping weight away is somewhat easy, compared to keeping it off. Sharpton put his arm around my shoulder and said, "I'll tell you the secret. You ready for the secret?" He lowered his voice. "Never, ever eat anything after 6 p.m. Never."

Just as Reverend Al channeled Pirkei Avot with his favorite mantra "No Justice, No Peace!"
Rabban Shimon Ben Gamliel said: The world stands on three things, on justice, on truth
and on peace...(See Chapter 1:17)

He does so again when he channels Ben Zoma with his advice for a trim waistline:
"Who is considered mighty? One who can conquer his desires!" (Chapter 4:1)

Not only mighty, but THIN!

Rambam on fiscal responsibility with commentary

Ok. I converted it to a Pdf file and now you can download it in living color. Two pages from the Susan Ordman of the Medieval Period--only better!

More than a Building Manual

After all the epic themes of Genesis, and the high pyrotechnic drama of nation building and revelation, we have Parshat Terumah. A place where many a Jew has been known to stop reading. After all, it's hard to get cranked up over a Divine House instruction manual. With a little imagination, however, a healthy curiosity, and some patience,this building manual holds clues that do reveal more than meets the eye.

For instance, take the cherubs,

Exodus Chapter 25
18 You are to make two cherubs of gold, of hammered-work are you to make them, at the two ends of the purgation-cover.
19 Make one cherub at the end here and one cherub at the end there; from the purgation-cover are you to make the two sphinxes, at its two ends.
20 And the cherubs are to be spreading (their) wings upward with their wings sheltering the purgation-cover, their faces, each-one toward the other; toward the cover are the cherubs? faces to be.
21 You are to put the cover on the coffer, above it, and in the coffer you are to put the Testimony that I give you.
22 I will appoint-meeting with you there and I will speak with you from above the cover, from between the cherubs that are on the coffer of Testimony? all that I command you concerning the Children of Israel.

If you were trying to promote a religion that shunned the worship of graven images would you place two cherubs directly below the presence of your voice? On top of that, would you not give any explicit purpose for these cherubs? Click here for a lengthy look at what those little guys are doing there?

Rambam on fiscal responsibility with commentary

Hebrew and English in readable fonts, plus some bon mots and pithy aphorisms from Yours truly. You can email me and I will be happy to send them to you!

They Should Have Listened to the Rambam...cont...

Rambam Hilchot Deot Chapter 5 Cont...

And it is forbidden for one to give away all his property and then bother others [to care for them]. He should not sell his field and buy a house, and not sell his home and buy portable goods, or mortgage his home in order to engage in commerce. He should, however, sell portable goods to buy a field. The rule is: His recipe for success is always to exchange the ephemeral for the sustainable, and one should not look for small temporal benefits, or look to have a little gratification in exchange for things that cost him greatly.

Once again, the Rambam is talking about how an astute individual behaves with his finances. He sums it up by saying “he exchanges the ephemeral for the sustainable.”

Hundreds of years before social scientists saw a connection between deferred gratification and happiness, the philosopher, without the benefit of statistical analysis, speaks truth to a future society hell bent on instant gratification, spontaneity, and self indulgence. It ends up not only being unwise, but the source of great misery.